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Lost Your Clown
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An applauding audience
rat dung on the carpet
yes, remember
the perfumed summer
cold pennies
we would lay on the railroad tracks
and my necklace
with one jewelled eye
your clothing of cinnamon colour
mornings of breathing
with the lights left on
surviving the shrilling gull’s song
breathing
wax, humidity, hand-prints on the wall.
From you a hot glow
swelled in your snare
tiny tedious nights
in your asylum of approvals
and secret judgements
I would squirm
dry
thirsty
when you’d come home
pockets full of food and false friendship
I would rock and weep
near the tape recorder
stabbing sorrow
in my isolated aquarium
tossing pebbles to the ceiling
watch them hit
and laugh out loud
I want you to know
your theatre is bare
nobody lingers for you
gifted pretender
of deliverance.
Take flight
take your guru condescending cold
it’s getting easier to be alive.
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Copyright © 1989 by Allison Grayhurst
amazon.com/author/allisongrayhurst
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Joshua’s Shoulder was published in 1989 by The Plowman, written by Allison Grayhurst under the pseudonym of Jocelyn Kain.
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Published in “The Peregrine Muse” April 2018
https://sites.google.com/site/theperegrinemuseii/home/grayhurst
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First published in “The Plowman: A Journal of International Poetry” 1989
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You can listen to this poem by clicking below:
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This is a magnificent poem. I love it.
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So much pain. So much promise. Such is our world. —E