.
Selina
.
.
What were you seeking
as you walked
year past year
through the talking crowd?
When he’d ask
of the cold terror
that would sweep through your heart
moving like freezing rain
towards his eyes
all you could remember
was summer
a week of silence in the heat
when you endured his visits
like a weight
you longed to unleash.
Beggars battled their hunger
near your home
you could smell the decay
reeking of bad alcohol
and heavy insanity
He would climb
like an old man
onto your body
inject his virility
fade into a dreamless snore
and you would listen to that awkward rhythm
thinking of your mother
childhood
waves never reaching shore.
All fled from your fire
sleep was short
waking was difficult
occasionally a star
would shake inside of you
spread its silver shoots
and separate the surrounding night.
You must have known from the beginning
how meagre his love could be
You must have tried hard
to inherit some joy
from the faces
you kept etched on your windowsill
Out of all of them,
his was the thinnest
but still some gesture of affection
fated to overpower you
when he held out his boorish hand
waiting to be love.
In the lonely air of age
grief watched on
as you laughed
fast and forceful
concealing the wound
behind charm and habit.
Selina, you died
like a country woman
barred by the pine trees
Selina, you wore clothes
scented with velvet flowers
and spring after a storm . . .
pretending the dance went on
despite your exhaustion.
.
.
Copyright © 1989 by Allison Grayhurst
amazon.com/author/allisongrayhurst
.
Joshua’s Shoulder was published in 1989 by The Plowman, written by Allison Grayhurst under the pseudonym of Jocelyn Kain.
.
Published in “The Peregrine Muse” April 2018
https://sites.google.com/site/theperegrinemuseii/home/grayhurst
.
First published in “The Plowman: A Journal of International Poetry” 1989
.
You can listen to this poem by clicking below:
.
.
Pingback: Selina – The Militant Negro™