I  Am This Creature

(drenched in mute history)

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I am this creature

let loose from the grave,

but still without a Sunday

or a bed of more than weeds and worms.

I am this liar, trapped in fantasy,

a carcass hanging upside down, all cheers and woes

set at high volume.

I was with hunger, a rage of flies on soiled food,

desperate to know fulfillment.

I was a girl, knowing nothing of drugs, but helpless

just the same, a slave to all my girlish visions

of the coming days of promised rapture.

I was a young woman, wearing drab and loose clothes,

never looking in a mirror, talking in tongues,

clenching confusion as a crutch and giving glory

to any glory-seeking teacher.

I am this woman, strong shouldered, a bit threadbare

but wanting

never to rekindle that drowned flame –

a creature in a world of foreign wilderness.

I’m circling, circling a solitary stone.

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Copyright © 2008 by Allison Grayhurst

amazon.com/author/allisongrayhurst

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First published in “South Florida Arts Journal”, 2013

http://www.sfaj.org/

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You can listen to the poem by clicking below:

https://allisongrayhurst.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/i-am-this-creature-drenched-in-mute-history.m4a?_=1

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