The Quenchable Drain Within

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The Quenchable Drain Within

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Like pale blood that rises

from cut skin, I see how poor

my devotion is.

I see my mind entranced

by frivolous difficulties

and mean shadows that drown

my lover’s heart. I do not do. I dissolve

my conviction by distraction and thick

is my vanity that pulses louder than

my any prayer.

 

              But like the undying air

I am comforted through

every break and self-betrayal.

Forgiveness drives out the ache

that keeps me immobilized,

where all is stultified by guilt.

              With you I am whole,

despite my drifting thread-thin

desires and despite my own love

yearning.

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Copyright © 1998 by Allison Grayhurst

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First published in “The Tophat Raven”, 2014

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You can listen to the poem by clicking below:

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“Allison Grayhurst intertwines a potent spirituality throughout her work so that each poem is not simply a statement or observation, but a revelation that demands the reader’s personal involvement. Grayhurst’s poetic genius is profound and evident. Her voice is uniquely authentic, undeniable in its dignified vulnerability as it is in its significance,” Kyp Harness, singer/songwriter, author.

“Allison Grayhurst’s poems are like cathedrals witnessing and articulating in unflinching graphic detail the gritty angst and grief of life, while taking it to rare clarity, calm and comfort. Grayhurst’s work is haunting, majestic and cleansing, often leaving one breathless in the wake of its intelligence, hope, faith and love amidst the muck of life. Many of Allison Grayhurst’s poems are simply masterpieces. Grayhurst’s poetry is a lighthouse of intelligent honour… indeed, intelligence rips through her work like white water,” Taylor Jane Green, Registered Spiritual Psychotherapist and author.

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Review of The Longing To Be: 

“The contents of Allison Grayhurst’s book The Longing To Be are both personal and universal and are described in such thematic and golden terms that one can see that a lot of thought has gone into each line. The poems are written mostly in free verse throughout, with both rhythm and soul weaved into them. For some poems, the layout seems experimental, and there is definitely a playfulness in the way that the words and verses fall onto the page. Others do conform to a “norm”, whatever that is. All are dramatic and thoughtful. These are layered poems with new horizons presented to the reader in every re-read. The effect is to keep things fresh with poems that constantly surprise in spite, and because of, the number of times being read. I thoroughly recommend The Longing To Be as a poetry book to study carefully and cherish far into the future,” poet Brian Shirra.

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2 responses to “The Quenchable Drain Within

  1. I haven’t read this one/very strong symbol deliverance/mean shadows,thick vanity(& louder than prayer),distractions dissolving, & thread-bare desires/
    continued love,g

  2. This poem helps me to name my darkness which helps me to move away from it:

    “I see how poor
    my devotion is.
    I see my mind entranced
    by frivolous difficulties
    and mean shadows that drown
    my lover’s heart.”

    I love the combination of ‘frivilous difficulties’ and ‘mean shadows’ to describe EXACTLY the pitfalls my mind becomes ‘entranced’ with! So true!

    And then there is the way out! The healing:

    “I am comforted through
    every break and self-betrayal.
    Forgiveness drives out the ache
    that keeps me immobilized,
    where all is stultified by guilt.”

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