Bowl of candy

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                It falls and it dies, dried

blood on a tombstone –

palliative care, parallel petals

of varying hues. Leaning against

a concrete pole plastered with posters of faded

dreams, dreaming their last gasp – ambulances,

lawnmowers, bird sounds – feeling the sun’s

rough tongue circle and slide with moist intensity

over the sleeves of my new jacket.

                I feel the civilized crowd, absent of judgment,

crossing streets, side-stepping grates. What does it mean

to be disguised as a butterfly or hospital nurse? Pacing

the torrid tea stores, listening to the woodpeckers, wishing

I could be so industrious. But

my hands were made heavy and

I continue dragging my head like a rock, lifting it

into the sky, over airplane tracks,

and vegetable patch gardens.

                Sorrow is open, festers like boredom,

breathing an unmarked passage

through my vascular system. Wobbly and wanting only

to be taken, to let my thoughts be devoured

by survival and sensation –

one more week of salt without substance,

to be a mole in a wave

of fragrant calamity, to awaken in a bed with hands

covering my chest and trembling in the shower stall –

walking, walking – vines and the roots of old trees –

whistling in my ears – flint and enlightened temperatures,

silver and worn. How does everything enter?

                Am I the sea? Am I a balcony or a rooftop?

Away from this place, I will never be pardoned or at peace.

Maybe this is just wilderness and burning,

but never once did I know stagnation or

was I afraid.

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Copyright © 2012 by Allison Grayhurst

amazon.com/author/allisongrayhurst

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First published in “Jellyfish Whispers”, June 2014

http://www.jellyfishwhispers.com/2014/06/a-poem-by-allison-grayhurst.html

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You can listen to the poem by clicking below:

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