My voice through glass
all summer long, mixing
words in my belly, saying only
grunts and other sounds that hang in the air
like the greyness before a storm.
I should count myself lucky and be a circle,
complete onto myself, quietly curving,
constantly joining, never sharp, never full of angular
weight or anger that can barely stand.
I should just learn to not be real, maybe
see a psychiatrist for all my pent-up disappointments,
for the way I want to shake the unshakable sea.
It is not worth these mornings of isolation, not worth
the split of an otherwise musical love. It is not
good to crave justice from a jackal or blame the jackal
when justice is not served. It is not right to hurt in my bones,
drag this knapsack full of iron, and spit my blood
all over the pavement.
It will be a challenge to learn detachment
where there should have been
connection and accountability.
I will not be connected, but be sweet, swallow
the stone in my throat and close the shop
with a smile.
Copyright © 2010 by Allison Grayhurst
First published in “Both Sides Now”
You can listen to the poem by clicking below:
“Allison Grayhurst intertwines a potent spirituality throughout her work so that each poem is not simply a statement or observation, but a revelation that demands the reader’s personal involvement. Grayhurst’s poetic genius is profound and evident. Her voice is uniquely authentic, undeniable in its dignified vulnerability as it is in its significance,” Kyp Harness, singer/songwriter, author.
“Allison Grayhurst’s poems are like cathedrals witnessing and articulating in unflinching graphic detail the gritty angst and grief of life, while taking it to rare clarity, calm and comfort. Grayhurst’s work is haunting, majestic and cleansing, often leaving one breathless in the wake of its intelligence, hope, faith and love amidst the muck of life. Many of Allison Grayhurst’s poems are simply masterpieces. Grayhurst’s poetry is a lighthouse of intelligent honour… indeed, intelligence rips through her work like white water,” Taylor Jane Green, Registered Spiritual Psychotherapist and author.