In this place of light and brooding, I smelt the
grapefruit in the morning under the August sun.
You were born and I miss you. Over 13 years of loss.
The day you left at 4:30 in the morning,
I felt nothing in the taxi but the sheer slap of horror
that held me for seven months, degutting every reality
that balanced my blood. I remember your hand –
feeling the thick knuckles, the same I felt
when I held it when I was a child,
safe, because of you and the confidence of your grip.
I remember holding that hand, cold,
without flow or sensation, for the last time,
knowing it would be the last time,
knowing you would not be my father like that again,
but be a memory that would change as I changed –
taking a life, as it now has, of its own.
Copyright © 2010 by Allison Grayhurst
First published in “Black Poppy Review” June 2015
You can listen to the poem by clicking below:
“Allison Grayhurst intertwines a potent spirituality throughout her work so that each poem is not simply a statement or observation, but a revelation that demands the reader’s personal involvement. Grayhurst’s poetic genius is profound and evident. Her voice is uniquely authentic, undeniable in its dignified vulnerability as it is in its significance,” Kyp Harness, singer/songwriter, author.
“Allison Grayhurst’s poems are like cathedrals witnessing and articulating in unflinching graphic detail the gritty angst and grief of life, while taking it to rare clarity, calm and comfort. Grayhurst’s work is haunting, majestic and cleansing, often leaving one breathless in the wake of its intelligence, hope, faith and love amidst the muck of life. Many of Allison Grayhurst’s poems are simply masterpieces. Grayhurst’s poetry is a lighthouse of intelligent honour… indeed, intelligence rips through her work like white water,” Taylor Jane Green, Registered Spiritual Psychotherapist and author.
Reviews of ‘Pushing Through the Jelly Fire’:
“This, (Pushing Through the Jelly Fire) is my second favorite book of poetry by Allison Grayhurst. I have it in paperback. I read a lot of poetry across a lot of blogs but Grayhurst’s work stands above the crowd and is of tremendous quality. I highly recommend this and The River is Blind. Her quality of writing is of a high standard and never ceases to lift my spirits as I turn pages in paperback or kindle,” Bruce Ruston, poet, photographer, founding editor of The Poetry Jar.
“Another Grayhurst masterpiece, Allison’s work has inspired me to continue creating and reading poetry,” Ann Johnson-Murphree, poet.