No ecstasy without surrender


No ecstasy without surrender



There is only one way forward,

to surrender into the tar-pit,

the O-no! void-pit, stop resisting

God’s will, start proclaiming light in uncertainty,

in personal dreams defeated where that defeat

gnaws, builds, insurmountable.

Lifting the stubborn rusted lock of what-must-be

to allow what will-be, is meant for me

to own and witness.


If death must arrive

then let it be guided and enveloped in

tenderness, without tortuous sorrow,

give me the strength to receive it,

relax into its force, welcoming

with trust and even anticipation.


Then maybe gratitude will balloon out, covering wide

in unexamined corners, peace will come in places

where dread claimed victory, an infant’s peace,

an in-the-now glow glory to bask in, released of exception,

uncovering flawless layers- some dwindling, some expanding –

layers like laments spoken, when spoke

removed like scar-marks from the skin,


pausing to hear flute whistles, pausing to rejoice

in the broken down alignment with karmic bonds –

diffused like fragrances dispersing, going, cleared.


© 2018 by Allison Grayhurst



First published in “On Possibility: Poems and Poetry” January 2018



You can listen to the poem by clicking below:




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