No ecstasy without surrender
There is only one way forward,
to surrender into the tar-pit,
the O-no! void-pit, stop resisting
God’s will, start proclaiming light in uncertainty,
in personal dreams defeated where that defeat
gnaws, builds, insurmountable.
Lifting the stubborn rusted lock of what-must-be
to allow what will-be, is meant for me
to own and witness.
If death must arrive
then let it be guided and enveloped in
tenderness, without tortuous sorrow,
give me the strength to receive it,
relax into its force, welcoming
with trust and even anticipation.
Then maybe gratitude will balloon out, covering wide
in unexamined corners, peace will come in places
where dread claimed victory, an infant’s peace,
an in-the-now glow glory to bask in, released of exception,
uncovering flawless layers- some dwindling, some expanding –
layers like laments spoken, when spoke
removed like scar-marks from the skin,
pausing to hear flute whistles, pausing to rejoice
in the broken down alignment with karmic bonds –
diffused like fragrances dispersing, going, cleared.
© 2018 by Allison Grayhurst
First published in “On Possibility: Poems and Poetry” January 2018
You can listen to the poem by clicking below: