Identity (as self to self before God)

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Identity (as self to self before God)

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Identity as explorer,

as an eagle with a powerful spread,

or as a sparrow, budding delicate, stirring

tenderness in others.

Identity as a mother, as a single flame monk

in the 4 a.m. quiet, under a dome, encased

in creativity and loneliness. Identity

as drink, poverty, excessive cash flow or beauty

beside the grave of the visibly mediocre.

 

Identity in discipline or free-spirit strength

that enriches the landscape with humour and charm.

Identity as a man whose skin has become core,

and the burden of time has passed through his sky

like a setting moon.

 

Stoic or gregarious, just the shape of a cloud,

changing, merging with other clouds

than dissipating. Speaking – backwards, forwards –

when the bearer of that identity dares to skip over the madness

of self-loathing, self-congratulating, skip

the moan in summer, the ovation indoors

 

and be in love,

like when first in love, ever swallowing

the joy into the fear, then the fear into joy,

the how-can-this-be? the will-I-ever-be-pure-enough?

struggling to keep up with such a devouring-bliss. Devour me,

 

more, more, let it be, be what never rests,

what is always too much, always

electrified, perfect. Heal me of identities,

allow me to step longing for divinity with every step,

engulfed in a splintering ecstasy while longing –

this beat, this beat – folding over, under and

everywhere, mastering the dance,

 

where my identity is just like a child with a toy,

there to enact a deed of great imagination.

 

 

 © 2018 by Allison Grayhurst

amazon.com/author/allisongrayhurst

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First published in “Moongate Motherbird” April 2018

https://motherbird.com/identity-as-self-to-self-before-god-poem-by-allison-grayhurst/

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Published in “Elephant Journal” April 2018

https://www.elephantjournal.com/now/identity-as-self-to-self-before-god-poem-by-allison-grayhurst/

 

 

You can listen to the poem by clicking below:

 

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