This prayer was the last prayer

devoured and regurgitated into a lie.

Hearts I voted on

desired safety above courage, avoidance

above truth and speculation above action.


Two-fold was this falsehood, this

pollination of pitiful love.

Drug-induced, polluted with vagueness

and amoral substitutes for honour.


I believed in you, comforted you

in your wanderings and in your torture.

But this river has gone undernourished,

dried into a barely moving stream.

What was grand and glorious,

a life source for a whole ecosystem,

now strides without gusto or usefulness.


Liar at the full moon.

Liar when you hide in your fantasy,

and then you lie again and hiding it,

say it does not count but it counts,

each lie builds a bed, littered with compost,

bars that block the view from the sky.


Everything I thought was strong,

unbreakable, deathless,

has ended in this infestation,

as you play-act queen light warrior,

indulging in ego-feeding conspiracy theories,

harming truth, defiling acts of other people’s courage.


So much suffering, whitewashed,

arrogantly dismissed, by you,

doubtless in your cult-convictions,

saying ‘awakening!”, building platforms

on top of platforms –

a grotesque paradigm of crazy,


where you have all the answers

and I have nothing left

to hope for or to say.




Copyright © 2020 by Allison Grayhurst



First published in “Rasa Literary Review, Issue 1” October 2020




You can listen to the poem by clicking below:

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